Laughing at The Horror of Being Alive

A Weblog by Heidi and Stu
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Friday, July 11

Last night I woke up yelling. Today I think the entire episode, though brief, is really funny!

I am generally a sound sleeper. I rarely remember dreams, and only occasionally wake up in the middle of the night. The number of times I have woken up yelling is probably on the order of once a decade, so last night was extremely rare. I think some of this goes back to the creepy crawly critters that live at the ranch. I know that there are scorpions and such dangerous varieties of spiders as black widows and brown recluses running about out there. I guess on some level I must be bothered by that notion, because the night before last I had a dream that I was bitten by a black widow. I wasn't scared in the dream, it was just a matter of fact! In reality, my feet had probably gotten too close to our beloved cat, Eustace, and he was biting. Who knows!

My mind must have been full of thoughts of creepy crawly arachnids last night, because when I woke up I could have sworn that there was a tarantula-sized spider hanging about 18 inches above my face. I moved closer to Stu, but the proximity of the damn thing to my face didn't change at all and I yelled out! I think this brought me to being 50% awake from my previous 10%. I realized that it wasn't possible because, (1) I have never seen a spider that large in my life, (2) if they do exist, it would be very unlikely they could spin a web strong enough to hang on (right ?), and (3) why would this giant, never-before-seen spider be in my house looking me in the eye in the middle of the night? Hmmm.

Anyway at 50% awake I realized that it was only the shadows from the trees outside reflecting off of the blinds, combined with my myopic vision and being barely awake. I had the whole thing figured out within 2 seconds of yelling and was fine with just rolling over and going back to sleep. Stu asked me what was wrong and kept throwing out possibilities (a bug, the cat, etc.). How dare he express concern when I wake up yelling and hurl my body against his and don't tell him why! He should have known that I figured it out and wanted to return to sleep. Oh well!

I explained it all to him on the phone this morning from work.

Tuesday, July 8

As a rule, Laughing at the Horror of Being Alive is hyper-non-partisan, but this correspondent can't help but ask, "Is this the new face of the Texas Democratic Party?" According to the Houston Chronicle,
As [Texas State Rep. Phil] King began his argument for the new congressional boundaries Monday afternoon, about 30 Democrats in the gallery donned white socks as hand puppets to mock King. Every time he spoke, the little white mouths flapped.

Image courtesy of Aaron's Filth Site

If you're looking for online flash-style games (and who isn't?), go to Orisinal. These have to be the best-rendered games on the internet, and most of them are really fun, although some are a little too easy. My favorites so far are "Hydrophobia" (4th row, 2nd column), "Bubble Bees" (4,5), and "An Early Spring" (3,3). The Boss calls them "super-cute"!

Monday, July 7

This traffic "microsimulation" is delightfully nerdy. I like simulation #1, which helps demonstrate why you can be stuck in traffic, then all of a sudden everything starts flowing again, but you never saw an accident or lane closure or anything. I found the "old version" works better on my computer, although it's less customizable. Link via Coudal Partners.

The Boss and I spent this weekend at the M--- family ranch near beautiful London, Texas. There was quite a crowd (of both people and dogs), but the ranch house has lots of beds and two groups brought campers. Ordinarily, summer days at the ranch are spent sitting in the Llano River drinking beer, but the weather wasn't particularly conducive to that (in)activity, so we mostly sat on the porch and drank beer. Other weekend activities included: smoke bomb golf, a trip to the Dollar Store in Junction for bitchin' sunglasses, playing "Mille Bornes," riding the ATV around the ranch, a nighttime critter safari in the "Blue Diamond," and recovering from hangovers.

For the Fourth itself we were treated to a spectacular fireworks display, courtesy of SH. He managed to procure some pretty big stuff, and what with everything being lit around ten yards away and going off right overhead, it was much more exciting than the professional shows.

The food was great, too; from the bacon-wrapped venison with jalapeños and cream cheese down to the warmed-up moon pies.

A great weekend!

UPDATE: AK has lots of pictures available through her blog. Thanks!

Stu's Stuff
What I'm reading now:
'Post Captain', by Patrick O'Brian
What I read last:
'The First Man In Rome', by Colleen McCullough
If the above seems out of date, I've almost certainly reverted to either Patrick O'Brian or P.G. Wodehouse
Web Art & Design
Orisinal (online Flash games)
Coudal Partners
Presstube (daily doodle)
Exploding Dog (cartoons from submitted titles)
Others' Writings
Kevin Whited's Reason Forum (Houston-related) "chronicling the high cost of our legal system"
Pathetic Earthlings "Science, Politics & Single Malt Whiskey"
Century Research Foundation "Testing the Limits of Good Taste"
Favorite Columnist:
John Derbyshire (@ NRO)
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